Welcome to your third module in the Sobriety Success Educational Series. This week we will explore an area that is far too often neglected or simply overlooked. Our mental health connects to every part of our lives. It affects our thoughts and perceptions, our emotions and self-esteem, our day to day decisions, our relationships, and our long-term goals.
While gaining more insight on our mental health and stability, we will be having discussions about depression, stress management, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These are all terms you have heard before, but may not know exactly what they are, and whether or not they apply to you. This module will help you to identify challenges you may be having with mental health and give you information to help you navigate through rough waters. With determination, the help of certified counselors, support groups, and increasing your knowledge, you can become a more informed person who is able to face challenges related to mental health and conflict.
Conflict and Resistance
Our mental balance and well-being come in the face of many trials and resistance. We would all like to live in peace— worry and anxiety free. Don’t worry, be happy! Although some days seem to come with little or no effort on our part, most days will bring a certain degree of conflict. Some days will bring a mountain of conflict that lands in our laps with little or no notice. These are the days where entering into serenity, as we learned in the last module, helps us to courageously use our experience, strength, and hope. We can weather the storm.
Have you ever been in a small swimming pool with a friend, and tried to create a whirlpool? You walk or swim around in circles in the same direction, increasing the current. Once you get some momentum going, you can relax and go with the flow of the water. When you have a strong current and you turn and try to immediately go the other way though it’s different. You must struggle and really lean in to make progress. I like to think of the stones that are in the bottom of riverbeds. Many of them were once rough jagged-edged rocks and have now become smooth.
Our lives are like standing in a river, negotiating the flow of the current. Sometimes the river may be flowing into an open and calm lake—you can relax, and let it take you there. Or, it may be headed for a waterfall. If you fall into a dangerous current going in the wrong direction, there is an urgency that calls us to dry and solid ground. We will look for anything that will help us out—a log, a branch, or a calmer spot where the current isn’t as strong. Once we do make it to dry ground, the rapids of the river don’t seem as threatening. They can even become beautiful to see and listen to. We become stronger and more experienced as we go through trials and challenges.
The metaphor of the river with its strong current could be many things and each of us has our own experiences with trial and conflict. Yes, we have our part to play in the decisions we make that lead to negative consequences. No, we can’t go back and do those things over. But we can learn to forgive ourselves, others, and learn from those experiences. There is an inner dialogue within that seeks to resolve conflicts effectively, peacefully and lead us to solid ground. The traumas and conflicts that we experience can distort our view, injuring our moral compass, making navigation more difficult than it needs to be. Watch this Ted Talk by Owen Fitzpatrick as he talks about winning the battle in the mind.
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Does Owen's creative way of speaking about the critical voices of rejection help you understand some of your own challenges?
Does his comparison of rejection with propaganda from media make sense?
How about propaganda within our own minds?
He says in his rhyming poetic prose that we do not have to listen to the voice of self-hate, rejection, and untruth. He encourages us to stand up and fight, throwing off that which would bring us down. We do not have to act upon the lie. Our lives are very valuable.
What is the story of our lives? Is it based on the streams of information that we have heard from the world? Has listening to that made us feel down and out? Do we feel hopeless and without purpose? Or, can we be engaged in our stories that have a bigger purpose and scope; one where the challenges, trials, victories, and failures are all a part of this human experience. They are normal to life. Conflict is normal to life. We choose how to respond. What will the next chapter be?
Question for Reflection: What does the phrase "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired," mean to you?
Helpful Links
How you handle conflict questionnaire
https://www.healthedventure.org/files/LifeSkills/LS_ConflictResolution.pdf
Suggested Book on Handling Conflict
The Peacemaker by Ken Sande