You wake up in the morning, press start on the coffee maker, get dressed and ready for the day, open and walk out the front door. How you approach and open that door and the first steps out will say a lot about your attitude and how your day will go. Are you frantically gathering your things, being driven out into the world, full of stress and a long list of items weighing on you? Or, are you being led with a presiding sense of peace, knowing that you will do your best today, taking one moment at a time, one breath at a time. Looking ahead at the people you will connect with and the places you will go brings you energy and encouragement. You don’t have to have all the answers, but you will respond to the challenges with enthusiasm, dedication, flexibility, and kindness. You have decided once again today to remain sober. You have come too far to turn back now.
Strength in Recovery - Testimonial
I have heard it said that if you want something big done, ask someone in recovery. Those that have made the decision to turn their lives around, focus and apply those energies to a life of wholeness and healing going from strength to strength, have found a well spring and source to draw from.
Raymond wanted to stay in that source. Going rogue, on his own, in the futility of his wrong thinking and self-destructive tendencies had brought heartache and pain to himself and many others. He recalled a night, living in a work hard play hard mentality, that he wished he could do over.
His family had gone out of town and so had his girlfriend at the time. He thought this would be a good time to relax and let loose. Unfortunately, still in active addiction, “relaxing” and “letting loose” meant drinking and drugging. It started at a hotel bar drinking snifters of cognac (on his boss’ dime). He felt pretty important sitting there at the polished wood bar.
He thought, this is pretty great. Even though his conscience was nagging at him to think carefully. You see, he had the opportunity to get a promotion at work. Meeting with the boss on his ground on his terms was part of that promotion process. Neither one of them needed much prodding to down a few drinks. How quickly the positive vision of title and prestige can turn against you. After leaving there they joined the rest of the restaurant staff, they were both now managing, on the other side of town. Raymond, walking into the local dive bar with smoked-filled air, was buzzing hard. Inwardly, he was feeling quite important. Actually, it was arrogance. He said hello to the familiar faces after ordering another drink.
There was a young lady there he thought was attractive and was hitting on. She didn’t find his arrogance too attractive though and he felt her rejection.
Another, whiskey and coke!
The next few hours passed in a bit of a haze. There was karaoke going on that night and he sang a couple of songs, out of tune. Raymond vaguely remembers going up to the bar away from the crew at one point and offering a line of cocaine to the lady next to him, and not very discreetly. You see he had recently moved from snorting a line or two here and there others had given to him, to buying his own from a dealer. Apparently, the bartender and others could hear him. The boss came up behind him and said it was time to go. Raymond wasn’t pleased but went along grudgingly. The place was closing soon anyway.
The plan was to go to an afterhours party. Somehow, he drove the car over to someone’s house he didn’t even know. There, he smoked some marijuana, drank a few beers, and another line of cocaine. No one suggested he take a taxi home. No one seemed to actually care about what happened to him. Everyone else was too concerned about themselves. It was the blind leading the blind in the dark. He stumbled out of the party with the boss and one of the staff from the restaurant to give them rides home.
After dropping off the boss at his house. Raymond, feeling sick, numb, and void of inhibitions or common sense, pressed the accelerator petal to the floor on a residential street. The speed went from 40, to 50, to 60, to 80, to 90……finally, Raymond realized that the street didn’t go through, but was a T-stop up against the desert. When the reality of the situation finally dawned on him, the shock punched him in the gut. While slamming on the breaks, he felt himself lifting out of his body. Everything went black.
He woke up in the hospital to two blurry police officers looking to draw his blood. 
Somehow, he had survived the crash. Even though there had been shards of glass embedded in his forehead, and various lacerations on his body, nothing was broken. There was a guardian angel pin slipped over the visor of his grandfather’s car he had been driving that was now totaled. He believed he had been spared. By some miracle the passenger in the seat next to him was also spared from any major injuries. He had a second chance at life. Even though he wasn’t living like his life had any value, he wasn’t left alone. Even though he wasn’t listening to the source of life to make wise choices, the source of life was still aware of where he was, now in the pit of despair.
Strong Deterrent
That night which started with so much promise and enthusiasm ended in disaster. The story though is really not that unusual for people who are being driven by alcohol and addiction. You see the details of that accident and its repercussions didn’t come fully present until many years later after Raymond became sober. Looking back at moments like this helped him solidify the decision to live free of drugs and alcohol, pride and arrogance, and desperate moves.
Conclusion
Walking into the fresh air of a new day with a clean and clear mind gave his character strong definition. Having the hope, joy and all the good work of recovery under his belt allowed him to stay in the source of life, even while looking back at the chaos of his past. There was a clear line drawn in the sand, and he had chosen and been guided to life.
Question for Reflection
Write about an Ah Ha moment you have experienced in sobriety. How has that experience changed the way you look forward?
Helpful Links
Quotes on Learning from the Past