Introduction
Can we live and act from a place of strength? Can we confidently stand through the storms of life with wisdom? Stu Weber wrote a book called Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s Hope. This is breakthrough material on leadership. He brings definition to the meaning of a substantive person as one with great strength of character. Along with this strength is a tender beating heart underneath the armor. This is the sort of person, according to Weber, “who’s character calls you to follow,” “who’s family reflects the quality of their leadership,” and “the kind of person you want to have breakfast with.” This sort of strong character recognizes the generations to come after, and is concerned with their well-being (whether born yet or not)! Some questions you can ask yourself to gauge if you are living from a place of strength are the following:
Am I concerned with living out truth and wisdom in my day to day life?
What kind of example am I for peers and those closest to me?
Am I overly focused (or obsessed) on my own professional success?
Does my family reflect the quality of my leadership?
Vulnerability and Leadership
Building meaningful relationships takes work and takes time. We invest in putting our best food forward and gaining tools to communicate effectively. We’ve often turned to Ted Talks during these lessons to gain insight into life, relationships, the consequences of addiction, how to overcome negative influences and become a little more enlightened. Here is another Ted Talk video, this time by Brenee Brown. She speaks of being vulnerable and authentic. She helps us heal broken human connections and become more whole in our outlook and approach to the future.
Watch Video Now – Brenee Brown on vulnerability.
Why is being vulnerable scary for some people?
How is being vulnerable a reflection of authenticity?
Worthy of Love
I hope you took what Brenee Brown had to say to heart. I particularly like what she shared about her realization of the importance of being vulnerable and tender-hearted. 
She said that some people embrace it right away and lean into the discomfort and struggle. She needed a year to get there. She called it a “street fight,” “a fight with herself,” “a fight with being vulnerable and imperfect.” She also said that those who were living whole-hearted lives believed they were worthy of receiving love. What a wonderful testimony from her. She herself needed to find a therapist to help her gain some strategies on how to be vulnerable and openly express herself to others. She wasn’t going to let fear run her life or dictate her actions but rather would face her fears and discover the truth.
Numbing the Bad and the Good
Brenee shared a fact discovered in her research that when people choose to numb discomfort and pain, they numb the good and the bad. She said, “you can’t selectively numb emotions.” You want to numb pain, and shame, and disappointment, but you also numb joy, gratitude, purpose, and satisfaction! Wow! That means I need to be willing to feel the emotions I think of as good and the difficult ones too. What could an example of this look like?
What if you were having trouble in a long-term relationship and you or your partner decided it was too much work to look after the other person’s needs or it wasn’t working for a variety of reasons, and a decision was made to separate or put more distance between the two of you. The results of this decision may be accompanied by a sense of relief, freedom, or perhaps disappointment, sadness, and failure. Feeling disappointment and failure is not something anyone hopes for when they wake up in the morning! If suddenly you are flooded with this experience, there is an option to blanket the emotions by getting drunk and numbing the bad and the good emotions. What about the good experiences you have had from the relationship? What about the hopes and joys you have for investing in your passions and interests personally and professionally going forward? Do you want to be present and aware of the new doors or windows opening ahead of you? When one door closes, another one opens. To be strong and feel and respond in strength is hope!
Conclusion
We can stop trying to be someone we are not or pretending to be someone we think others want us to be. We can acknowledge our faults and be forgiving of the faults of others. Brenee Brown mentioned that the choices we as individuals make have an effect on others. If we could simply say: “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry,” and then go about fixing it when possible. Certainly, one tries not to make the mistake again, the first do no harm principle. That would go a long way. It is not only a mature decision to tell someone from a genuine and vulnerable place that we realize a wrong and are sorry for it, but it is a freeing decision too. Facing life on life’s terms, feeling authentically and courageously puts forward the kind of character found in someone growing successfully into emotional sobriety!
Question for Reflection: What does a leader need to do when it comes to considering the needs of others around them?
Helpful Links
Brenee Brown (book), Daring Greatly, on understanding shame, and becoming whole-hearted.
Stu Weber (book), Tender Warrior