Testimonial
The day before I self-surrendered to the Maricopa County Jail to begin my 120-day sentence for my 4th DUI, I sat down and had breakfast with my mother and father. We spoke about many things during that 90 minutes. We spoke about work, school, some of my fears, places I had been they didn’t know about, and people I had met. I shared my vision of what I hoped would be a bright future one day. I shared with them a short book I had read called Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.
It tells the story of a bird who is not happy scavenging for food by the shoreline. He wants to break off from the crowd and fly over the deep waters. He wants to soar high above the clouds with the sun shining on his feathers. He wants to feel the power of the wind on his face as he dives and turns. He wants to be free. I also wanted to be free. I wanted to awaken to a spirit bound by nothing but true love’s call - to hear its voice, and to follow where it leads.
The very next day I did report to the court and was taken into custody. The next 48 hours brought me through what is called the Horseshoe where you are processed and shuffled from cell to cell. Eventually a group of us were escorted into the Durango County Jail. It was late at night about 1 a.m. Finding my way in, wrestling with fear, utter exhaustion, and the hope of a bed to lay down my head, I climbed up to the third-tier bunk. Blocking out the foreign sounds around me I drifted off to sleep.
When my eyes opened, I blurrily saw a young man about 25 straight across from me. He said, “hey, time for breakfast.” I looked around at all the inmates lining up. Then, I saw a familiar sight. A book that was lying on the young man’s pillow. The same blue cover with the white bird’s wings stretched out wide. Jonathan Livingston Seagull! I could hardly believe it. I had prayed for God to go with me into that place. In seeing that book I heard His voice of love piercing through the darkness.
He said it was the first book he had ever really read and that he liked it. He and I became friends. We shared conversations about our lives and how we landed in there. 
I learned that his father had introduced him to drugs and was then put in jail. He began following in the same footsteps and was caught himself. He desperately wanted to get out and be free of the addiction and the lifestyle he had been thrown into. He was a kind young man and got along with everyone. For whatever reason he looked up to me and listened to me. Whatever had connected us together in that place and through that book was encouraging both of us to look up and realize there was a new season ahead. There was a strength deep within that could shine a light beyond the shadows. Hope was alive. We were not only walking towards that hope through the valley, but it was walking with us through those shadowy times.
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Hope in Dark Times - Meditation
1-Year of Sobriety
Just prior to my incarceration which began on August 22nd, 2011, I had reached my 1-year mark of sobriety. August 11th, 2010. For 365 days I did not pick up an alcoholic beverage or even walk into a bar. I had decided there was too much to lose and there was. It wasn’t being in jail that got me sober, it was finally being honest with myself that until I faced up to my addiction problem and made new decisions, I was never going to have any real peace. There was much at that point I felt was missing from my life. I wanted a better job, to finish school and to grow into the man I believed I could be. That year of sobriety though could not be taken away from me. I had persevered and was facing up to life on life’s terms. I finally had a real respect for myself and others.
By the time I was released from jail on December 22nd, 2011, just before Christmas, I had compiled 16 months of sobriety. The battle for sobriety, consistency, and health was going well. I had quit smoking cigarettes too. Yet the battle for emotional sobriety and renewal had just begun. Little did I know at that time that my mother was going to get very ill. As much as I was concerned with myself and my sobriety and living my life right, there were others that would need me to help them with their needs and concerns. It was difficult for me to realize just how selfish I had been.
I would also need to find new work. My work had largely been in the restaurant business where I had access to alcohol on a regular basis. Wisdom’s voice called out, rather loudly, and directed me away from that industry. It wasn’t worth the risk. Some will say they can be around others who are drinking, and they can manage the cravings. They are past needing to drink with others. Many have fallen and fallen hard with that attitude. Simply because you have 1-year or 5-weeks sobriety under your belt, does not mean you have mastered addiction. Hopefully you have more energy and are feeling much better than before, great! But, as we talked about in last week’s module on avoiding a return to old habits, pride is a real danger to relapse. Kick it to the curb whenever it shows its ugly head. Remember all you have come through and stay humble friends.
Question for Reflection: What is one experience you have had that unexpectedly increased your faith, hope, and love?
Helpful Links
Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jonathan-livingston-seagull-richard-bach/1100181525#/