Congratulations on taking this first step into sobriety and healthy living! My name is Raymond LaFleur, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. I’ve spent more than 2 decades of my life in varying degrees of drunkenness and addiction. Because of my drinking, I have been incarcerated 4 times, lost countless jobs, almost lost my family, and my life. Your progression of alcoholism or Substance Abuse Disorder may be more or less severe than mine had become. It is my hope that my inability and unwillingness to get to their root earlier will be to your encouragement and advantage.
The crutch and vice of substance use and abuse was a symptom of a deeper pain and powerlessness. It was an escape that prevented me from living the life I was meant to live. I know how much I lost and how many people I hurt because of my selfish choices. I wish there was a resource like the Into the Clear Educational Sereies available to me when I received my DUI’s; one that would have helped me get to the root of my drunkenness. Fortunately, after many hard lessons and a lot of help, my hope was restored, inspiring me to over 9 years of continuous sobriety.
There are so many great resources and information out there today that we have access to! Your commitment to sobriety and to positive change will bring you to amazing places. You may find you are capable of more than you ever dreamed. In these modules, I will be sharing resources that I have found helpful, as well as my experience, strength, and hope. You will also hear the stories of others who have embraced sobriety overcoming many obstacles.
You are establishing a new pattern of daily living that includes receiving daily support and information through this Series on a variety of topics related to recovery from alcohol and drug addiction. It can also serve as a prevention from slipping any further into a world of addiction with its devastating consequences.
Many of us have never experienced what it is like to have a consistent rule of life. Having that consistency is key to preventing destructive choices regarding alcohol and drug use. The everyday needs and stresses of living can be overwhelming without a healthy framework to refer to. When we experience painful, disappointing, or unjust events and interactions with others, there is the tendency to run and hide from the emotions associated with them (or overreact in a hostile way).
Sometimes we avoid these effects by engaging in addictive behaviors, like using alcohol and other drugs. But it could also be overeating, over-exercising, escaping into media, or some other overindulgent choice. Often, we don’t know exactly why we have fallen into addictive behavior. We find our lives are unmanageable. We need help! The truth is, we all need help to prevent substance use and abuse.
We need to take responsibility for every area of our lives, and for the choices we make whether good or bad and to deal with those consequences in a mature way. In today’s modern world, we struggle with having enough to be satisfied in life. We receive thousands of messages from advertisers that insist we are not whole and missing something. This voice of being unsatisfied and not good enough must be silenced.
We have the capacity to make good choices each and every day regardless of how we feel or what others do and say. Instead of looking at our whole life (past, present, and future) which can easily be overwhelming, we can choose to focus on the here and now. You can make good decisions for today, like abstaining from any altering substance and staying sober. Remember, your worst day sober is still better than your best day drunk or high. Each day life provides us with opportunities to learn and grow and help others. Staying consistent and dedicated to doing good and following through on decisions made with a clean and sober mind is exercising wisdom. We also are investing in a life that reflects what is most true.
We often procrastinate. Meaning, we know what we need to do or not to do but are looking for a more convenient time to act, avoiding change. The garage or closet that needs cleaning, the stack of paperwork on your desk, or countless other tasks that we aren’t inspired to do often sit undone, pulling at our conscience. Once we get started doing them, we experience a sense of accomplishment and relief.
Procrastination prevents us from growing into the life we are capable of living. The time to act is now. We don’t know what tomorrow holds for us. We have today. It's helpful to take notice of the good things and the beauty that is around us.
Study Tip: Finding a quiet place to go through these lessons and blocking out any distractions will allow you to focus on each day’s information. If you can have a regular time that is helpful too. Also, get a notebook that you can write in. Many days you will have the option to do an exercise where you are writing down thoughts, answering questions, or taking some other action step.
Suggested Action Step
Here is an exercise that will relieve anxiety by focusing on the sounds around you, wherever you are. It is good if you can to turn off televisions, phones, tablets, laptops or anything else that is distracting for this exercise. Take your notebook and something to write with. First, close your eyes.
- What do you hear?
- What is familiar?
- What if anything is unusual?
- Take notice of how you are feeling.
If you aren’t familiar with this type of exercise, you may find that your mind is distracted or that you are having trouble focusing. Simply allow your mind to be aware of the things immediately around you. Take some deep breaths and relax. Do this for a few minutes (or longer if you want). Then, open your eyes, and write down the answers to these questions. You can repeat this exercise in the days ahead either during these lessons or anywhere you are.
- What do you hear?
- What is familiar?
- What is unusual?
- How are you feeling?
**Just being aware of yourself and the environment around you is helpful.
In continuing through these daily lessons, we will dive into more topics that show the benefits of continued sobriety. You are at the beginning of forming new patterns and becoming stronger. This is a process. I encourage you to be patient and forgiving of yourself and of those around you. Keep in mind the growing list of all the benefits that are available to you.
There are many good habits you can develop while going through this series. Remember, starting with small steps and doing a little at a time is good. Some small steps might be:
- Lay out your clothes the night before in preparation for tomorrow.
- Make a healthy lunch to bring with you to work.
- Keep a daily planner.
You have a wonderful opportunity to make positive changes in your life. Check out this video which discusses how to form good habits.
Do you think it is helpful to focus on making small consistent changes instead of major changes all at once?
Can you do a little at a time and be satisfied with your progress?
Think about this related to money. If your savings account has nothing in it now, but you put just 4 or 5 dollars into it each day...
- After a week you will have enough for some groceries.
- After a month enough for 2 new tires on your car.
- After a year you will have 1-2 months’ rent or mortgage payments!
The key is to take action and stick with it.
Regarding sobriety, it is vital that you diligently practice total abstinence from alcohol and other drugs.
The Attitude We Choose
During my time in jail from my DUI’s, I quickly realized there were generally two types of people or mindsets that I experienced there. The first was the attitude that they shouldn’t be there and didn’t deserve what happened to them. These people were usually angry, resentful, and had a chip on their shoulder. The other attitude was: I made a bad decision, got caught, and I know it was a mistake. I am ready to accept responsibility, face the consequences, and make positive changes starting now.
The attitude that we choose makes all the difference. We can be resentful when we get up in the morning and look at the list of things we need to do, or thankful that we have a new day to do things well. I encourage you to be honest about where you are, your part in it, and jump into sobriety. There is so much to look forward to!
You may have friends or family that have gone through or are going through Into the Clear. Talk to them about their experience, and the strength and hope they have gained. Giving them the opportunity to share their positive results can help inspire you as you navigate day to day through to the finish. Congratulations on finishing day 1!
Question for Reflection: Do you have a certain perception of who you need to be? What kind of person are you? How would you like others to see you?
Helpful Links
Step 1 of Alcoholics Anonymous: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
SMF-121_en - The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous