Our emotions impact us in so many ways. Emotions have a tremendous effect on our ability to learn in different environments and can help us gain a new perspective upon the things we are learning now.
Emotions and the brain
Can you think of a time recently you were overwhelmed by emotions?
Were you thinking rationally?
This short video says the effort to understand and manage our emotions, through conscious behavior, helps prevent our emotions from hijacking our brain. Feelings of embarrassment or insecurity, anxiety or anger can keep us from focusing on the work in front of us. Our brains fight or flight mechanism may be triggered. Just knowing that this is happening is helpful. Then, we can identify what’s happening, as we have been learning this week, and make intentional moves to learn and grow!
SEL- Social Emotional Learning
Do you remember feeling uncomfortable in the classroom in school?
Have you had difficulty fitting in various social settings like most of us?
Do you think being aware of your emotions, working through negative ones, and choosing positive ones can renew your ability to learn?
Practicing these principles of SEL will help you find success in school, work, and relationships.
The video discusses our experience in learning environments. It shows how emotions, empathy, and feeling connected to others affects our ability to learn and succeed in academics at all levels It pointed out……..
-
- Being aware of our own emotions and choosing positive ones.
- The need to be connected in a learning or classroom environment.
- Being aware of others needs, empathizing.
- Being open about asking for help.
So, how does an understanding of strong emotions and social-emotional learning help us stay sober and grow into our new-found sobriety?
Knowing that strong emotions can trigger us to turn to addictive behaviors, there needs to be a clear-cut way we respond to stressful situations.
Let’s look at a few examples of possible situations we may encounter in sobriety and things to remember.
Going to a friend’s party or gathering
- You are drinking water, or juice, or soda. Other people may be drinking alcohol.
- You are making changes, getting healthy. You do not need to escape through substances!
- You are definitely under no obligation to stay if you are tempted to use.
- Just be yourself and make sure you get a good night’s sleep, ready for work, school, or your daily lesson the next day!
- Or, skip the party entirely. Set yourself up for success. Some chances are just not worth the risk!!
Taking a test at school or training at work
- You may have performance anxiety about this, or just not “feel” like doing it.
- Ask yourself if you are prepared. If not, is there material you can go over to help you succeed? Is there someone you can call that is in the same class?
- Whatever build-up of stress that may be happening, remember, it will pass. Don’t put off studying. Be good to your future self!
- Pull out a journal and write for a while to ease tension, or get some exercise at the gym, or in your living room. Don’t dwell on it!
Talking with a supervisor
Perhaps you need to talk with a supervisor and change your schedule or you would like more or less responsibility. You are afraid he or she will not be understanding.
- If you have thought it out, and know this is what you need to do, then trust that!
- You will not know until you actually have the conversation.
- Try not to rehearse the conversation over and over. Just write down your main points in your notebook and bring it with you to the meeting!
Sitting down with your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend
Becoming sober and healthy means changes to people, places, and things in your life. Those closest to you deserve to hear your thoughts and needs (you have a lot of good things to say!). You as well need to hear and respect their thoughts and needs. Remember, empathy is a big part of Social-Emotional Learning!
- Talk to them about what you are going through in the daytime. Emotions always get more charged up at night!!
- Realize that it is an ongoing conversation and that all the issues will not be solved in one sitting. How do you eat an elephant?? “One bite at a time!”
- If you are not able to sit down calmly with them, you can try writing to them. Face to face conversations are certainly preferable with matters of the heart and important changes. Sometimes though written communication is a better choice.
- Fewer words will prevent many misunderstandings. Speak your heart and tell the truth. Just do it with fewer words. Remember, we have 2 ears and 1 mouth. It’s twice as important to hear others than to speak.
Here’s a short video on the realities of being at a party sober!! Nice!!
Is intelligence affected by drinking alcohol?
Do people say things they don't mean after even a couple of drinks?
See you in tomorrow’s lesson!
Question for Reflection: What teacher, mentor, or counselor did you best connect with? Why do you think there was such a good connection?
Helpful Links
Books to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves