Welcome to day 2 of the Emotional Intelligence Module. A part of putting your emotional intelligence to work, as we discussed yesterday, is to identify those emotions you struggle with. You learn how to work through them, staying present and in the moment. Seeing those things in our environment that put unnecessary pressure and stress on us are also vital for mental clarity and staying sober.
Simplifying your life within your living environment
While you are establishing your sobriety, it is very helpful to keep busy organizing your living environment and activities as much as you are able. Here are some suggestions.
Eliminate all but essential activities, the first 90 days.
- There will be changes to the places you go, the people you talk to, and the things you do. Keep any unnecessary stress away by limiting appointments, commitments, and obligations.
Say no to extracurricular activities, family obligations, and other activities that aren’t in line with your recovery plan.
- You may be used to drinking socially or partying with others. It may be important to decline and stay away from some social environments that you associate with using drugs or alcohol.
- Decline spending time with friends and family if necessary to stay on track using polite language:
- “I’m not available right now,”
- “Perhaps another time,” etc….
- “I will get back to you when I’m able to.”
- Avoid going into long explanations about your recovery and how difficult it is. If there is a person that is a positive influence on you and supportive of a healthy lifestyle, let them know what is happening, and the changes you are making. They may be a great source of accountability or a friend to talk to.
- Make going to meetings a priority. Whether it is A.A., Celebrate Recovery, or another recovery or treatment group, going regularly to these meetings and sessions will give you encouragement and support. Remember, you are not alone! Follow this link to find a local 12-step program near you now.
Success of your sobriety is only as good as your support system. Many people have had excellent success in doing what is called 90 in 90. They attend 90 meetings in 90 days, 1 a day. Now that’s courage! Some even go to multiple meetings each day for added encouragement during early recovery. You can try different meetings until you find one that gels. This can be your home group.
Helpful Tip: You can ask others that are having success in recovery to share with you how they are structuring their lives. Remember each person is unique and what works for others may or may not work for you! Just ask questions and pay attention to what they are saying. You will learn much from just listening!
Suggested action step
Clear and remove the clutter around you! This will help bring order to the chaos. Go through each room of where you live starting with the bedroom (or kitchen) and clean it out……removing containers, cartons, dust, vacuuming, and doing laundry. Then go to the living room and do the same. Continue with the kitchen, garage, other bedrooms, the car, etc…throw away or donate items you don’t need. You could work to clear and clean one room a day.
A good rule is if you haven’t used it in 1 year, or it does not bring you joy, you don’t need it—clear it out! If you have any alcohol, other drugs, or items associated with them, throw them out!! You can be free to live a full and healthy life attaining your goals! You can be free from addiction!! Tell others you live with to keep those things away from you. This is a powerful step to make and one that will bring immediate results.
Here's a video on not only decluttering your home, but your life as well.
The video talked about how all clutter, whether in our mind or our bedroom, stems from postponed decisions. So, let’s continue to work towards being decisive and choosing the good each day.
- Do you have regular eating and sleep patterns?
- Do you lay out your clothes the night before?
- Are you getting at least 7 hours of sleep each night? Amazing what a good night’s sleep can do!!
- Do you make having a good breakfast a priority?
- Do you use a planner or calendar to keep track of appointments?
- Do you regularly delete unwanted and unnecessary emails?
Ask for help from a spouse or loved one.
Often the people around us who know us best can offer really helpful insights into our lives. If they are judgmental or overly critical of where you are in your recovery, then give them the space and time they need to adjust to the changes that you are making.
Deal with bills or unattended business.
You may not be able to pay bills and need credit counseling or help from a sponsor. One step at a time. The link below will connect you with a thorough and proven way to get a hold of your financial life whatever your situation is.
These suggestions for clearing out and creating a peaceful environment and organizing your life are tools for you to use. You may not utilize all of them at once. That’s ok! Start with what seems right to you and keep working. See you in tomorrow’s lesson!
Remember, your worst day sober is better than your best day drunk or high.
Question for Reflection: Do you see having an organized structured living space as essential to living in harmony?
Helpful Links
Treatment Center
Book about decluttering
Financial Peace University Meetings - Dave Ramsey